"JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!" (jqj213)
08/11/2014 at 00:38 • Filed to: help, serious, advice | 3 | 60 |
Oppo, my mind lately has been all over the place. I'm only 16, yet I feel old and worry about death and focus on tragedies and struggles rather than happiness. I lay awake at night worrying and thinking about horrible events. There seriously might be something wrong here. I want to see a psychiatrist. But being young, I have to ask my parents; who I don't share ANYTHING with; despite being extremely close. So what do I do? Any help at all please! Have a classic 'Vette.
Nibby
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 00:39 | 1 |
Perfectly natural and normal to think about horrifying things.
Of course, that's coming from me, so...
HammerheadFistpunch
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 00:41 | 3 |
I don't want to make light of your situation, but I think you may just be dealing with mental/emotional growing pains. I'm not going to discount your thoughts about seeking mental help but i think you are probably just in the height of an emotional state and, frankly, the world is worrying to think about. Focus on things that you love, drink less caffeine (if you drink it at all) and be happy and content in the things that bring you joy...also watch/read less news.
/not really a lot of help.
BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 00:43 | 1 |
Even if you share little with your parents, you might still wanna talk to them about your worries before seeing a psychiatrist. I'm not saying you shouldn't go see one, just get it out there in the open. It looks to me like you're having anxiety crisis or recurring panic attacks, and you really should see a professional about it if it troubles you.
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion
08/11/2014 at 00:47 | 1 |
Its just seems embarrassing to me. I really don't tell them much. I try to keep them out of my personal life. So they don't know about any of my girl troubles, or these thoughts.
They are the kind who try to look at things lightly and would just joke about it at first I fear.
But I'm seriously having these anxiety and panic attack and thoughts. And I want some help, someone to just talk with. But I need their insurance and approval.
It might be a phase but still, its bothering me.
CB
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 00:47 | 2 |
If you're Canadian, you can legally go to a doctor by yourself at the age of 14 without them disclosing the information to your parents. I'd say go if you feel you need to, because it's better to do something now than to have something happen later.
I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.
sm70- why not Duesenberg?
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 00:48 | 1 |
1) Talk to a school counselor or other trusted adult, preferably a professional in the field. Unless they feel you are a danger to yourself or others, they will keep it confidential. Seriously, if this is a mental issue you feel you have, I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to seek help. If you do not want to tell your parents, you shouldn't have to. However, if you don't have access to a school counselor or other such adult, trust me, the best path would be to tell your parents so that they can help you find a person to talk to.
2) Keep in mind that there is a lot in life to be thankful and grateful for, and that your life (presumably) is very good. Remember that the horrible, scary things you worry about are rare occurrences, and obviously do not reflect daily life.
3) Also, perhaps consider the fact that the odds of you or a loved on being killed to more, in addition to being ridiculously minute, are also not affected by worrying about it.
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> HammerheadFistpunch
08/11/2014 at 00:49 | 0 |
No you actually are helping. And it think it is a lot of a stress and bad luck and depression I've had. But I'm still somewhat worried and want some help. I know very few kids my age who think like I do and I'm just scared.
But talking to my parents just scares me more. I don't know how they will react.
All Motor Is Best Motor
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 00:49 | 1 |
For about 5 years now I've struggled with an intense fear of death that overcomes me at night time. Not sure why, but it always happens at night, especially in bed. From what I've gathered, it happens to others, though it seems to be something not a lot of people talk about. For me, it all started one day after I started thinking about death, and realizing, I mean REALLY realizing that "hey, I'm going to die!". I've always known that I was going to die. I had no ideas of immortality. It was just always something my younger self had put in the "I'll deal with it when I'm older" category. Well, I started to deal with it. I was in a near constant state of panic on and off for the next week. Ever since then I struggle with this massive fear of death every night. It's gotten a lot better over the last few years but every now and then I go through times where it gets worse.
When I start to panic (I mean genuinely panic) I have to force myself to think about something else like reading a book. I do that a lot when that happens, I just make myself not think about it. Try reading a book if you start freaking out about the bad things. Usually that helps me. Just avoid anything that overtly covers things about dieing and whatnot. This really is - and I hate it just as much as anyone else - a situation where the best you can do is try to not think about it as best you can. Sometimes I make myself think about things I enjoy, and things that make me happy. It really helps.
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> CB
08/11/2014 at 00:51 | 1 |
Thanks man. I just want to go seek some help now before it could become something worse.
I've just had so much stress and anxiety and depression lately and its messing with my head. I just want someone to talk to. And confronting my parents scares me.
BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 00:52 | 2 |
I know it's very difficult to look at thing this way, but there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Many people suffer from panic attacks and anxiety issues. Most of the time it is a temporary condition, like going through a big change in your life such as leaving high school and your parents' home to get into college, while other time it's a permanent condition resulting from some form of phobia or social anxiety syndrome, but both cases are manageable with professional help. Even if your parents woudl take the situation lightly at first, talking to them and telling them how you really, really feel is the best way to start. Tell them that, even though it might be nothing, you'd still be more comfortable seeking help in understanding this difficult situation you're going through.
jariten1781
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 00:52 | 1 |
You have a school counselor no? They should be able to provide you suggestions on how to broach it with the 'rents. They also probably can refer you to someone who's helped in similar circumstances, or provide you with hotlines or informational material to help you make the best decision going forward.
Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 00:52 | 1 |
You're growing up and you're expected to figure out what you want to do with your life in a couple of years. It's normal to be stressed and worry. I agree with Hammerhead, limit caffeine and also try to keep a regular sleep pattern. If things don't get better, then definitely talk it over with your parents and try to get help. I wish I would have a few years sooner.
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> All Motor Is Best Motor
08/11/2014 at 00:53 | 0 |
That's exactly how it is for me now. During the day, I'm perfect. I'm happy. But when its night; my room is dark and I'm laying there alone, the fears hit me. My mind turns dark and evil and these awful thoughts rush through my mind.
I want to seek help just because im scared it might become worse.
That's what I've tried, by reading stuff on Oppo or listening to some music, and it works a bit but still the thoughts return.
So I'm just confused and worry im crazy for thinking this stuff being so young.
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
08/11/2014 at 00:56 | 0 |
I feel that its mainly from all of this stress and hardship and depression I have. But Im scared that if I do nothing now, it will get worse and i dont want that.
The sleep pattern is hard for me because of these thoughts. But I don't drink any soda or coffee so I have that going for me.
Im just really scared to talk with my parents.
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> jariten1781
08/11/2014 at 00:58 | 0 |
The big issue with that is school isn't starting for another week and those first two weeks are so hectic they are never available. I also don't want to really bring these issues into school, as dumb as this sounds.
I just need to try and talk with my parents, but im scared to. I don't involve them in this kind of stuff so for me to just start coming out with whats happening will be a lot.
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion
08/11/2014 at 00:59 | 1 |
Thanks man, I really really appreciate it. I just want to talk with someone before it gets worse. It'll just be hard to tell them, because I tell them nothing. My parents have noticed me depressed a few times, but i lie and say im fine, so maybe it wont be so bad. But I would like something
EL_ULY
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 00:59 | 3 |
d'awww I remember that age and feeling that way. Good thing for my bass guitar and loooots of porn :] There is nothing wrong with ya. It's normal.
My suggestion, get a girlfriend to literally take up all your time and make you feel happy on occasionally
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> sm70- why not Duesenberg?
08/11/2014 at 01:02 | 2 |
Its not that I don't want to tell my parents, its more of I dont tell them anything at all in the first place, so sitting down to be serious will be hard. They don't know of my depression, girl issues, stress, or anxiety. I just want to seek help before I get worse.
And I try to stay positive but it usually doesn't work. I feel that my mind is older than I am and it thinks like an adult, not a teenager. I cant stop these thoughts.
Thanks for helping
Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 01:02 | 1 |
Then talk to your parents. There are few things I could want more than to go back and talk to my parents about it when I was still in high school, instead of pissing away the past few years. If it's that serious, do something about it. You are at the first step of admitting you have a problem, the next step is doing something about it.
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> EL_ULY
08/11/2014 at 01:03 | 0 |
Thats my big goal for this school year. I need someone to talk to and make me happy and break this streak of awfulness and sadness.
sm70- why not Duesenberg?
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 01:04 | 0 |
Believe it or not, a lot of this is normal-ish. We teens have a lot going on in our minds that we can't control or explain. Like I said, your best bet would be to talk to someone who knows more about how your brain works than you do.
Abject_Penitent
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 01:05 | 1 |
I noticed in a response you said you are scared to talk to your parents. When I was your age I was totally scared to talk to my mom about anything personal because she was very disciplinary and could be pretty tough (but always fair) on me. She surprised me on many occasions with her understanding and wanting to help. I'm not saying you are guaranteed to have the same results but you never know. If you aren't up for that are there any close friends you could confide in?
And this is not to discount what you are feeeling but more so to make you know you aren't alone... From my experience almost everyone goes through this, especially in teens and early twenties. Do what you need to do to get through it and know that you will.
Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 01:06 | 1 |
Also, talk to the parent you are most comfortable with. You don't have to tell both. Most parents won't just brush it off and will take you seriously.
All Motor Is Best Motor
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 01:07 | 1 |
I really believe there is a physiological reason for why this happens. I've been doing some reading and it really seems like there are a lot of people this happens to at night. There's likely some change that happens in the brain that causes it to dwell on such things. Most people's advice seems to be "do whatever you can to not think about it". I know this probably isn't the answer you want to hear (it's not even the answer I want to hear), but it's the best I can come up with. I don't think anyone else here really understands it as I do (as selfish as that sounds). There's even a kid on Yahoo who said he was 14 and was having the same issue. I once knew a 15 year old who had the same problem. Know that you are not alone, that this is not just your unique problem, and that you aren't a freak for being this way.
Some of us are just unlucky in how our brains perceive and interpret life.
EL_ULY
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 01:08 | 2 |
Yeah dude don't stress. You got us and a talk with your parents is the last resort because that is a guaranteed cure. Hold that option though. You are going through the same thing millions of others are at that age. Life only FUCKING gets harder truuust me sir you have no clue how things are for me this month fucking hell I feel like i'm about to explode. And I don't even have kids yet. But i know things for us will only get more kickasser?.... yeah, kickasser :] You are rad and a whole online community will back you up on that.
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> Abject_Penitent
08/11/2014 at 01:09 | 0 |
I'm really scared because I don't know how they will react. I don't tell them anything. I don't involve them in my personal life. I'm scared they will look at it like Im just being dumb and laugh it off and not help me. But I don't know.
I've talked with two friends but they are just my age and i can be honest with them (and am) but its not the same. I want to see a professional.
Its just I talk to my friends and people I know and they havent yet. They are still young and reckless. They go party and not worry about life. That was never me. My mind feels older than it is. I think more like an adult than a teen and i worry too much. But I don't know. I just need help
jariten1781
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 01:11 | 0 |
Couple other tools.
If talking is difficult, you could write a note. You don't have to be there when they read it and you can make sure everything you want to say is in it.
There are peer and volunteer teen help lines. They can help you strategize and give you unbiased feedback/suggestions on your approach. They're anonymous and free. If nothing else, just putting it into words with a third party should help knock out some of the embarrassment or nerves.
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> All Motor Is Best Motor
08/11/2014 at 01:15 | 0 |
Thanks a lot. It really helps knowing I'm not alone. And I also don't want to seem selfish but I feel that a lot of folks here don't really get what im thinking or how serious it can be. I'm caught on this viscous cycle now...
my mind tonight: I'm already a junior in HS. I feel so damn old. But soon I'll be moving out and then college. I'll be getting married, having kids, working at my career. I'll witness death all throughout my family; mom, dad, grandma, people who I lost touch with when I left and only now regret. Then I'll be old myself. My kids will have kids. I'll be a grandfather and praying that these kids don't leave me to rot away in Florida or in a home and that they won't lose touch (even though I know they will). Then I'll die alone. And my offspring's offspring will be witnessing the same thing.
This is all Im thinking tonight. (Hope to not drag you down so Im really sorry if I do; I just need to get it off my mind)
And I agree that some of us are cursed with this
BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 01:17 | 1 |
It seems that talking to them is part of the reason why you feel anxious, or at least an aggravating factor. It might be difficult, but when you manage to talk to them about this, I wouldn't be surprised if you felt loke a proverbial weight has been removed from your shoulders. Just sharing these worries can have a powerful effect in how you face them.
All Motor Is Best Motor
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 01:28 | 1 |
One thing that helps console me is the thought of having kids, and my kids having kids. If that happens I'll be more at ease. I think it's some kind of primal instinct, to want to pass on my genetic legacy. Just don't freak out about the college and growing old. Growing old is for later, and you have your entire life to plan and prepare for it. You never know what's going to be in store for you. And it's up to you to make sure you aren't an invalid when you get old. Stay physically and mentally healthy as best you can throughout your life, and barring bad genetics you should be better off. College really isn't that big of a deal. When I was your age it seemed so very daunting, but in truth it's easier than high school. You get less homework and greater flexibility with assignments and due dates. You aren't forced to take a bunch of crummy classes all at once. You can choose your schedule. Want to just take 2 classes a semester? Go for it. It will take you longer to get through college but it will be so much easier. Want to pile on 5 classes in one semester? You can do that too.
There really is a much bigger freedom in college. I wouldn't trade college for highschool ever. My biggest piece of advice for you: Live in the moment, not for what comes next. Enjoy each and every day you are alive on earth. Being alive is always better than the alternative, even if you're bored, sad, depressed, in pain, tired, whatever. Appreciate what you have and that you still have so much time left. Don't wait for the next day to happen, instead make the most of the day you're in now.
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> All Motor Is Best Motor
08/11/2014 at 01:37 | 0 |
Thanka so much for everything tonight. You have been one of the biggest helps in a while, it means a ton to me. I need to stop worrying. And I think what I really need is a bit of happiness, I need something good in my life to happen, to change this. Im gonna get a gf this year. And im hoping itll fix something.
Also, I think im not scared of college, im scared that I got here so fast. I just feel pld, like I missed my childhood. Im lkke an adult. I have a job. I have bills. I have to be responsible. It sucks. I want to be 5 again. Or 25. I hate this period of my life.
Abject_Penitent
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 01:39 | 1 |
That last paragraph was totally me back then. I never meshed well with most people my age and still don't. I have always felt older mentally and my family has always noticed it. I don't know if this is the answer you want but over time I accepted that I just currently don't get along with people my age and now I actually prefer it that way. I have a smaller than normal, but tight group of friends. And believe me I went through a lot of friendships to get to the group I have now.
I would hope your parents wouldn't laugh off a situation such as this but if they do then you need to really make it clear to them it's serious. And if you truly believe professional help is what you need then that definitely needs to happen.
As a side note, I know I ramble when I talk so I'm sorry if this isn't what you're looking for as far as answers go.
All Motor Is Best Motor
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 01:40 | 1 |
Responsibility isn't so bad. Being in charge of yourself is scary, but it feels great to be in control. Not being ordered around and forced to do things just because is wonderful.
ttyymmnn
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 01:43 | 1 |
I'm really scared because I don't know how they will react. I don't tell them anything. I don't involve them in my personal life. I'm scared they will look at it like Im just being dumb and laugh it off and not help me. But I don't know.
Has it occurred to you that your parents might be waiting for you to talk to them? I don't know your situation, and I don't know your parents. But as a parent, I know that there is a fine line between trying to be active in our kids' daily lives and leaving them to grow on their own. It's conceivable that your parents are sitting there saying, "I know there's something bothering JQJ, but I just wish he'd talk to us." Maybe they're as scared as you are.
You're at an age where a LOT of things are happening, and they are happening fast, not the least of which is hormones, along with brain changes, body changes, etc. All of these things can lead to an increased emotional state. While there is a slim possibility that you are depressed, or paranoid, I think there is a greater likelihood that you are perfectly normal and yours is a classic case of teen angst. Which sounds like psychobabble, but most teens, including myself at that age, went through a period of obsession over reality and death because we were finally coming of an age where reality and death — and taxes — were starting to affect us. Jim Morrison said a lot of crazy stuff in his songs and his poetry, but one of his lines has always stuck with me: "And we laughed like soft, mad children/Smug in the wooly cotton brains of infancy." Which is a poetic way of saying that children are generally insulated from death and reality. But as we grow up, we have to start facing those things. It sucks — but it's part of becoming an adult. We're at a place where we have to "grow and develop and take a meaningful place in today's complex society" (Arlo Guthrie, The Pause of Mr. Claus . It's a great song ; you should listen to it.) And that can feel like a really heavy burden for a newly-minted adult.
You will never know how your parents will react unless you talk to them, and your worrying about how they might react is only adding to your fears. If you are really afraid to talk to them, find another trusted adult — counselor, pastor, uncle — and talk to them. Get it off your chest. You'll feel better. And you might surprise your parents with your openness, and bring you all closer together.
I wish you all the best. I'm not sure I want to be 30 years younger, but I wouldn't trade those years for the world.
Toby F., Manager
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 01:44 | 0 |
Are we the same person? Haha, seriously. I too have had similar thoughts and ponderings (given it was at an even younger age; maybe 7-15; it was on and off - where I'd have mini panic attacks on the thought of death). Slowly however, as I get/got older, I've come to accept the fact that it's the only thing guaranteed in life, and have noticed that such thoughts have dissipated over time. I recently turned 20, and have since noticed that over time, I've learned to ponder less on such and instead seize life a whole lot more, enjoy, have fun, live, love, and all else. I too have battled stress, "depression," fixation, and all else; but since have overcome all and been able to live life freee, happier, healthier physically, mentally, and all else. I've made the personal pact to live as best as i can without any unnecessary stress or b.s.. I too also feel as if I think as an older person - sometimes more mature than an average adult. There's a saying somewhere that those who are more of an "intellectual" are those who are more likely to become depressed as well. Lastly, I too struggled with keeping personal life things to myself and not share such with my parents or anyone else for the most part - not even to my siblings or close friends; I however then began to blog my things in the last two years of my life when I pursued a "soul search," as a result, other friends and family knew of my business, but my parents were for the most part blind to the fact I was actively pursuing a soul search and stuff. All up until I was pushed to the brink and eventually had a break down. I cried, opened up, and all else. And within moments of release, I felt so much better & felt more substance. I had three "breaks" and such three breaks truly opened up newer doors. Since then, I've been less stressed, calmer, and all else; and have since found my life, thoughts, actions, etc be much more peaceful, calmer, and normal again. My passage into adult hood continues, but nowadays I feel my energies, mindsets, and health: physical, psyhological reclaimed, rekindled, strengthened. My "soul search ended," and now I've been able to move on with my life FULLY again: socially, educationally, adventurously, etc. I learned not to be hindered by anyone, anything, not even myself. Just never settle for less. This is why I enjoy oppo, thanks for sharing, & I hope my insight helps. This reply in a nutshell is what I worked, learned, etc on these last two years since graduating (2012). I got lost to find direction - when I slowly began to go into a "recession" and stagnate, an lose interest in the path of education and such I was pursuing. Also, surround yourself with genuine people - I learned who's true and who's less than so in this journey; and, when/if you do find out the latter, do not be bitter - there's a reason. Always thrive, think, do, enjoy, share, love, live, etc positively, humbly, & genuinely.
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> Abject_Penitent
08/11/2014 at 01:46 | 0 |
I really appreciate the rambling honestly. You see I do too here. I prefer it, it makes me feel like you took more time to think of a response and shows you care a bit.
My friend circle is like 4 kids, so I know how that is. I went through a ton to get here. And everyone says how I seem so much older, so I guess I just learn to deal with it.
I think they would at first, I just need to be clear because it is serious. I hope they understand. I think a professional would help, just because im scared if I dont now, it could get worse.
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> ttyymmnn
08/11/2014 at 01:54 | 0 |
Thats actually a really great point, one I haven't thought of yet. And they have before asked me why im upset and I always lie and say im fine, so i think they have a hunch.
I do need to talk with them, it just seems so scary.
And anything is possible, it might be a phase, but its just scaring the shit out of me. So I dont know what to think.
Thanks a lot!
Abject_Penitent
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 02:03 | 0 |
I appreciate that you appreciate it.
Something else you may be able to explore is a school counselor. They should be able to talk with you or help you with how to tell your parents. Or give you some information at least. That being said, if you go that route, before you discuss ANYTHING ask them about confidentiality. Those laws are not all the same for minors. I do think going straight to your parents would most likely be better though.
I know it's daunting but the sooner you start talking about it the sooner you can start making it better.
ttyymmnn
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 02:07 | 0 |
And they have before asked me why im upset and I always lie and say im fine, so i think they have a hunch.
Give your parents some credit. They just might be smarter — and more caring — than you think. The very fact that they asked should tell you something. They're probably afraid of pushing you too hard. I sounds like you're all ready for a little sit down.
It can be scary talking to your parents. But in most cases, parents only want the best for their kids. Remember, there are many manuals for fixing a car, but there is no real book for being a parent. For most of us, this is a totally flying-by-the-seat-of-your-pants experience. As parents, we only really have our own personal experiences to guide us as we try not to screw up our own kids. And here's the kicker: to help our kids, we really need our kids to help us. And you can help us by talking to us.
Thanks a lot!
My pleasure.
Sam
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 02:17 | 1 |
I thought much like yourself until I actually had the dreaded "extremely traumatic experience" only about 6 months ago. I got t-boned in my Miata and was about a third of a second away from being instantly killed. After that, I learned to stop worrying and to live every day like it may be my last. You're even younger than I am, so you have even less to worry about.
Frank Grimes
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 02:24 | 0 |
Don't believe your thoughts they aren't you.
bhardoin
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 02:31 | 1 |
I've always seen death as not particularly sad or scary. What's a lot scarier is wasting the life you've got left. And it's really sad is to waste life being afraid of death.
If this is something that's really bugging you and infringing on your life, I can't stress enough that you should get help ASAP - I'd probably start with a close friend, a school counselor, or parents. This is something that you need to overcome yourself, though some good guidance will help you figure it out. That way you can start living again.
Eddie
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 03:01 | 1 |
You my friend have us, and well Oppo!
Some of the coolest friends ever!
Dont worry man, im 18 and i feel that way every day. But.man, keep your head up. I just went through something like this as well.
What helped was finding people to let the stress, the pressure, the emotions you hold back. What kept sane these past months were friends that i met online.
Cars were another thing, i play forza to calm me down. Either go on Horizon and just cruise for hours online in a private lobby all for yourself. Just peace and a roaring V8.
If you ever need a friend or a.community to talk to you have us.
GhostZ
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 06:16 | 0 |
Take that fear, and focus it into anger.
Not blind rage, but a tight, focused flame. Use it to achieve . Use it to recognize your limitations, use it to see what is holding you back, and remove those things from your life. Then, use it to obtain the things you want.
We live in an amazing world where all of the tools you would ever need are right in front of you, so long as you have a computer. Put all of those resources toward doing some good with the world, and don't let anything settle you down, because you have realized something that very few realize at your age: the problems of this world are far bigger than any of our own happiness.
A happy life is a boring and unremarkable life. A depressed life is worse, but there is a middle-ground, where you can be proud of yourself and what you are accomplishing, and at the same time, enraged by what you have yet to do, and afraid of what you may not be able to do. Those are the emotions that make life dramatic, and worth living, because they push you toward doing good things with your life.
The way I've put it is, once you realize how important death is, how small and insignificant you are to the world, that is when your life no longer becomes your own. You then owe your life to the rest of the world, to the books of history, to do something with your knowledge.
This happened to me when I was about 16. A Psychiatrist didn't help (If you think it might, you should still do it though!) But learning more, researching, becoming stronger and better as a person (not happier, mind you) and removing all of the things in my life that were holding me back had given me so many things that would have made me happy back then, if only because I didn't understand how important it was. Now I'm on a very different, but far more rewarding, path.
You, right now, have all the skills and resources such that in 6 years you can be a millionaire with a degree from a top-ranked university, and you have the time to carry it out. Now that you know what is at stake if you fail , you should focus on how to achieve.
Or, the converse is, give up. Do not fight it. Be as happy as you can be and content, and stay with the things that keep you as you are, and ignore the fear until it goes away. Both are perfectly reasonable ways to life live, and the latter is far more realistic. But the former? The former is, in my opinion, the greater path.
Don't worry about not telling your parents things. You can speak to them if you want, if you need to, if you enjoy it, but there is nothing inherently wrong with not being able to talk to them.
GhostZ
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 06:20 | 0 |
Sensory deprivation causes the mind to sort out it's recent influences. One theory going around the scientific community is that memories are translated from short term to long term. If your subconscious is concerned with something, it's far more likely to show up at night when you don't have as many outside influences. This can even train the brain to think about these things at night, further worsening the problem.
Another tip, start learning how to remove all sensory input (lay perfectly still, think of nothing, lights off, blanket over you so you can't feel anything moving, no sounds) and let the subconscious do its thing. It needs time to let the 'chain reactions' from major realizations settle into logical courses of action.
GhostZ
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 06:21 | 1 |
my mind tonight: I'm already a junior in HS. I feel so damn old. But soon I'll be moving out and then college. I'll be getting married, having kids, working at my career. I'll witness death all throughout my family; mom, dad, grandma, people who I lost touch with when I left and only now regret. Then I'll be old myself. My kids will have kids. I'll be a grandfather and praying that these kids don't leave me to rot away in Florida or in a home and that they won't lose touch (even though I know they will). Then I'll die alone. And my offspring's offspring will be witnessing the same thing.
Only if that's what you want. Not of that is any more guaranteed than it is that Russia bombs your city tomorrow and snuffs you all out of existence. We all are trying to survive, but I think you have realized that survival isn't enough.
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> Sam
08/11/2014 at 08:55 | 0 |
oh my gosh I'm so glad to hear your doing better now!
It just at this point seems a lot easier said than done. I'm just hoping it's a phase and won't be an issue for much longer.
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> Eddie
08/11/2014 at 09:00 | 1 |
I really do love Oppo for this.
And it's funny but these thoughts only come out at night when I'm laying one in bed. But when I'm dojng anything its fine.
I'm hoping this year to meet more people and get a gf and be social. Just doing that might help. I think I might buy season tickets to watch our baseball team too (top 3 in Florida!) And I love baseball! So I just need a distraction I think.
Eddie
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 09:07 | 0 |
distractions are good!
Sam
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 09:25 | 0 |
I'miss not a psychiatric professional, but I'd say give it a few months. If you're still feeling down, talk to somebody.
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> Abject_Penitent
08/11/2014 at 09:38 | 1 |
You know a lot of people mentioned the school counselor but honestly I don't want to get the school involved. It seems like it would become more of a headache than anything else, especially nowadays when they care so much you get called out of class to talk to them,
Besides, school starts in a week and then itd be another 2 weeks before I could really sit down with someone and talk.
I just really need to talk with my parents, it just seems daunting.
Eddie
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 10:18 | 1 |
Here, smile. Everything in this picture is perfect. It has laughing material plus a beautiful car and a beautiful girl who doesnt need to show alot of skin to get your attention
Being Social and meeting more people can get a girlfriend.
For me the girlfriend part hasnt happened...ever. But i still fight on to live another day.
Stay safe man, meet new people, play some games, go to the gym, get ripped, and eat tacos!
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> Eddie
08/11/2014 at 10:27 | 0 |
Wow that really is a great picture!
I've never had a real gf either, but for some reason, I feel confident that I can get one this year.
I've got this one girl at work who I think likes me and I might have a shot with. And I've got a new school year; 7 new classes with at least 5 girls in each; odds are somewhat in my favor. I made a promise not to be boring. I want to seem original, seem funny and clever.
And as for tacos, I'm so happy because the Taco Bus, a Tampa tradition, is coming right near me, and they have delicious authentic food!!!!
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> GhostZ
08/11/2014 at 10:28 | 0 |
Yeah, I now know it isn't. I need to be bold. I need to stand out.
Eddie
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 10:33 | 1 |
Remember this man, girls will come to you. Being Original and funny or just being you.
You can achieve one. Suree i might of never had a girlfriend but, i was always surrrounded by girls.
So just be you, be smart and be funny and let the girls see you. Get their attention and be friends with them at first. Sooner or later a girlfriend should be in your favor!
HammerheadFistpunch
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 11:24 | 1 |
having had psychiatrist visits myself at that age i can tell you that your parents will likely be relieved that you are taking inerest in you're own well being. however i will say that i didn't feel that my visits were very productive. nor were anti depressants. truth is; being a teen can be a worrying depressing time, period. i can tell you from the vantage of hindsight though that it's not as bad as it seems and that the passage of time is constant on good and bad days, allow time to pass on the bad and create memories on the good. talk to your folks and frame your conversation that you feel anxious. a shrink is just someone you vent too and you sound fortunate to have a good relationship with your parents...use it for your good and theirs. (typed on a phone...hopefully it makes sense)
GhostZ
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 12:00 | 0 |
You need to not fade into nothing.
JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
> HammerheadFistpunch
08/11/2014 at 13:46 | 0 |
You made great sense! And honestly I was looking into stuff last night and sadly a lot of people agree that seeing help didn't really help all that much. And that having someone to talk to was just as good for them. So maybe I won't. I just always pictured it like on TV where they solve everything but its not the case.
I love having Oppo and all these people to talk to. I'm realizing how much everyone rocks here more and more.
I'm hoping to get past it. I think its just a ton of stress and a lot of stuff going on around me. This school year I'm going to keep busy so these thoughts can't show up.
Thanks man
Abject_Penitent
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 15:25 | 0 |
Yeah I would be very hesitant to get the school involved as well. Good luck with your endeavors, you can beat this.
zeontestpilot
> JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder!
08/11/2014 at 16:30 | 0 |
It's difficult not knowing the unknown. it's a giant question mark, with an answer not readily available.
For me, I choose to answer it with the faith that there is a God. Don't ask me to prove it, I can't. It's something inside that says everything is going to be ok.
Don't get me wrong, I'm afraid of dying, it scares me. Leaving my wife and daughter behind isn't my idea of fun. But at least I know I'll be ok, eternally, in the end. And that I'll be reunited with them. God gives me hope, if not for this world, then for the next.
I know this sounds cliche, but it's an honest statement. I'd rather live for a hopeful purpose than live aimlessly.
If you want to talk, my email is zeontestpilot at Gmail.